All In the Name of Research

Caution: This blog post contains Adult Themes.

Not only am I a late-blooming writer, I was late-blooming in the relationship department as well. I won’t bore you with the details, because I think I already shared some of them. However, the good news is I met, fell in love with, and married the man of my dreams.

And now that I am writing again, writing romance novels with some sexy bits, my husband helps me with research. He doesn’t even mind.

Sometimes when we kiss, I take mental notes: taste, textures, scent, sounds, eyes closed or open. Anything different this time? I knew I would love Mike the first time we kissed. He has asked me to tell him what exactly about his kiss made such an impression on me. I don’t do justice to the experience. He tasted and smelled fresh, clean, warm. He focused on me, whatever I felt seemed important to him. And he was really happy to see me.

We’re both very affectionate, holding hands, kissing while in line somewhere, touching each other every time we walk past each other at home. There’s not a lot of sexual tension any more, so I wouldn’t write a couple like us unless I planned to tear them apart.

I do my research between the sheets. A few things happened at about the same time to help with this. I lost a substantial mount of weight, and we women carry most of our estrogen in our fat. Along with that I began to walk and to be more active, and to write Romances with Sex Scenes.

I can be talked into sex just about any time, and anywhere private. Mike says I lied to him about being an extrovert, but that may have been back when I would have said anything because I had fallen in love. And we have been very happily engaging in sex since the second day we lived together. We were much too tired the first day. Over the years, our sexual urges and stamina have kept pace with each other.

Understand that Mike is currently one of those millions of Americans who have been ignored by employers after being laid off 4 years ago. We struggle to make ends meet, but more than that he struggles with depression and the resulting lethargy. But he is walking with me and losing weight as well. But I just have more energy than he does.

Not only am I writing some pretty hot and spicy scenes myself, I am reading the same from my friends and group on Scribophile. Good gracious! There are some talented folks out there, and they are getting published through many channels. In addition, my Romance Writers of America friends are advertising and blogging about the hot reads and chapters. There are classes to take on all these subjects. Wow. “Honey, I need to research something I read today. You busy?”

As if the words written aren’t stimulating enough, all the romances have sexy people on the covers. Since I think I may be self publishing at some point, I looked at a of couple sites for possible usable photos. Oh, my! or “Really, I can’t get any more writing done until I work this out.”

I don’t know why more men don’t encourage the women in their lives to write romances. Or to write them themselves and ask for help. Of course, it’s awesome that the market for non-traditional romances is opening wide. Damon Suede is president of Rainbow Romance Writers, a virtual gathering for LGBT Romance writers much like RWA. RWA does welcome and support LGBT writers, but one will often seek comfort from a gathering of like minds and bodies. And like the annual RWA Conventions, there’s Gay Rom Lit Retreat (GRL) in Illinois.

Sadly, while Mike is game for many things, and he is definitely straight but not narrow, he’s not exactly keen about researching gay romances for me. He would be happy to help me with lesbian romance, so I’ll keep that in mind. And luckily, this is why I am a writer, because I have an (over)active imagination. I can imagine having sex in zero-Gravity, I can imagine a Roman orgy if need be, and I can snuggle up with my research assistant and imagine the happily ever after all my characters deserve.

See you Wednesday with more observations.


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