Finding the Heart Beats

Tragedy strikes everyone. Sometimes it is a huge event, like losing a loved one in a shooting rampage. Sometimes it’s as small as the whisper of wings when you lose a pet. Each person endures the pain in different ways.

I admire every writer who had to push past their anguish and pain to keep writing. Last Thursday was set aside for me to get a full day of writing done. Instead I spent the day weeping and searching the neighborhood for a lost lovebird. Time keeps getting away from me, which is making me very nervous. Maybe I won’t ever finish any of my projects. I don’t have a great track record for finishing things. And when I do finish them, I find they are not very good at all.

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I may have found out why. I hate to write when I am depressed or upset. I feel unfocused. And lately life has been full of upsetting things. Here’s what I need to learn:

It’s okay to write when I’m not clear-headed, as long as I channel the power of what I feel into the story.

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I want my readers to experience a full spectrum of emotions so I must lead the way by writing the full spectrum.

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And I need to draw out the emotions, write about them, draw them, dance about them, to get around the chaos and back to the spinning of the story.

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Also I need to love and forgive myself. I need to look back on my life and let go and forgive every single nugget of pain I horde. I do work on this, but in weak moments I find my self taking out an episode and playing it over and over. This could be the start of a character’s dementia, and finding a way to let things go could be her or his story arc.

Some of the best novels that are considered classics were written to get a chunk of heartache out of the writer, and let those who have felt the same know they are not alone. Studies show that writing about emotions can ease stress and trauma.

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Today I am working through fear of losing more loved-ones and how much more it will hurt to lose my husband, should that be my path. But as I believe words have power, I need to discontinue that train of thought, before I encourage life to develop in that direction. I need to smile, to keep exercising and eating right, and to keep my heart open to the good as well as the challenges ahead.

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Thanks for reading, I’ll be back on Sunday.

One thought on “Finding the Heart Beats

  1. Me, too. I can keep writing through pain (don’t all writers have pain?) but not on the topic that causes me said pain. What I can’t understand is how people can write memoirs. I never want to relive anything I’ve gone through.

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