Fear of Writing

What can cause a writer to not use every minute available to write? I have reworked my second Regency Banquet book to the point where it’s fascinating again and moving along well. Just a few days of writing and rewriting, and I might have a complete and interesting story. I just can’t seem to sit down and type.

On Monday, I talked on-line with friends who are also writers, and we did sprints. That’s where we set a time, like on the hour (we are mostly all in different time zones) for 30 minutes. Then we do nothing but write. At the end of the time, we check back in to Google Hang-outs and give a word count.

112215 not afraid

Since I am doing a bunch of rewriting, word counts didn’t figure into the process, but now I am on a chapter that is new to the story, and I can report a count. I had 280 words, which is low, but that means I could get over 500 in an hour. And 500 words per day is a decent goal.

Some days I just don’t have the time to write. I know, the saying is that if you are serious about writing, you will make the time. But I don’t want to write when my mind is foggy. In the morning, I am slow to wake up. At the end of the day, I am barely able to sit upright. In between I have birds to feed and water, cages to clean, rooms to clean. I have kitchen chores, I have yard chores. I even have laundry one day per week.

112215 face fear

I eat as much healthy food as allowed, and mostly skip carbs and sugar. I walk three or four days per week, depending on weather. I ride my exercycle and I use resistance bands and weights to tone legs and arms. I visit my 90 year old father when I can, and meet friends now and then for lunch or coffee. I have a weekly weight-loss support group, a monthly bird club, and a monthly RWA meeting. Plus my husband and I have a game night at our house every month.

Still, I have managed to write short stories on top of all that. There must be a spot for writing that I am just not taking advantage of. And I think I know what is holding me back. You see, I wrote the second book once. All finished, loved the ending, ready to publish. But when I got critiques back on the first chapters, there were issues. And while I was busy rewriting the book, I hated the fact that it wasn’t perfect. I had invested lots of time and thought and research into the work, but it still wasn’t enough.

112215 energy

So I am focusing on making the book a fun read, an interesting story, and more accurate. Amazingly, realizing that I had a totally ludicrous item written in to the chapters gave me the insight to go in another direction, and to make so many improvements that I just want to jump for joy.

112215 lion

I will focus that joy and energy, and get the book done. That’s a promise. Thanks for reading, I’ll be back on Thursday.

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