Beautiful women and sculpted men are very nice to look at. A good-looking couple in a sexy position can make my day. But there is a down side to Eye Candy that you might not see at first.

I grew up overweight. I hit puberty in the ’60s. All around me, I saw images of women who were skinny and had straight hair. Think Twiggy. To find fat clothes that would fit me, I had to shop in the old ladies sections at department stores. I once had a saleswoman take a dress away from me, saying, “That’s not your size, you’ll stretch it out.”

021116 twiggy

The deaths of Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot, and the joke that if they had just shared that sandwich, they’d both be alive today, showed just how messed up women were (and continue to be) about body image. I don’t think life was much easier for overweight men during those times, either. Long, full hair and surfer bodies were all the rage in California.

021116 surfer

Being shy and thinking I was ugly did nothing for my social life. It did, however, contribute to my fertile imagination, where I could be any size and color I wanted to be. Everyone who saw me loved me immediately. I sang and danced and rode pretend horses better than anyone else ever. But in real life, things were depressing and bleak.

Jumping ahead, a therapist once told me I was looking for a man who would love me more than I loved myself. I know that is true, but the fact is that I have learned to love myself through this man. I am more comfortable with my own body, and work to improve my health because I want to be around as long as I can manage it.

So that’s me sorted, but then I think about the many, many crushes I have had over the years. I fell so in love with a co-worker once that to this day I think about him. When I first met him, I wasn’t interested, he wasn’t all that attractive. Then one day he revealed his sense of humor, and I was a goner. I still think he had the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen.

021116 my body

That’s the crime in Eye Candy. Why use these over the top images when physical traits are fleeting and don’t add much to a relationship? My soft, cuddly honey makes my toes curl, but sometimes I want to curl a bit before he comes home. And that’s the main use of Eye Candy for me.

021116 womans smile

The secondary use is for picturing the characters in my stories. And there’s just something about the good-looking men and women on Pinterest that give me ideas for stories. I hope the rest of the world will someday catch up with not needing overly chiseled models for fantasy. Meanwhile, I’ll be looking for a few more Parker Hurley photos.

021116 parker

Thanks for reading, I’ll be back on Sunday.

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