I go through audio books like I go through something that doesn’t last very long but you really like it. As a result, I often listen to my discs again and again. Sadly I only own one Jane Austen book on CD, but it’s Pride and Prejudice so it’s good. I try to limit my listening to P&P to once every six months. Same with the first Outlander book on CD. Don’t want too much of a good thing.
When I recently selected Pride and Prejudice to listen to, I felt so excited, like I was going to visit an amusement park and ride my favorite carousel. That was all it took for an idea to be born. Jane Austen Land!
The first ride that eveyone will love is along the lines of a holodeck from Star Trek. Pick your favorite actor to be Darcy, go over your lines from your favorite scene, and let wardrobe put you in a Regency gown. You’ll get a souvenir copy of the performance to take home with you. We’re not going to be sexist. A man can pick his favorite Elizabeth, or be with Darcy. A woman can pick her favorite Elizabeth. All are welcome.
The next ride would be Mansfield Park, where audience members would be assigned roles and have to perform a 15 minute condensed version that probably will make no sense.
Back to Pride and Prejudice, the next ride is ManSplaining by Mr. Collins. “I am not now to learn –” is the first encounter. The person who can convince him of his or her earnest intention not to marry him is awarded points. Then Mr. Collins will wish to introduce himself to Mr. Darcy. If the person can then persuade him not to do so, more points will be awarded.
There will be an open carriage ride around Blaize Castle, the castle itself will not be reachable by any road or path. The drives of the carriage will disparage the guests, their clothes, the other carriages and horses, and overstate their own skills and abilities and connections to Northanger Abbey.
The final ride is a simple ballroom where your choice of hero or heroine will dance a set with you. At the end, you will be escorted to the gift shop where you can buy Jane Austen action figures, all the books, tea sets, tea cakes, picnic hampers, shawls, bonnets, riding crops, and a trivia game. I can hardly wait to go back!
Thanks for reading, I’ll be back on Sunday.