Why Do We Love?

Some people don’t really know what love is. I feel very sad for them. I have loved men who have not loved me back. I wouldn’t trade that experience for much of anything because that started me writing. I love my husband, I love my children, I love my pets and my books and my music and my on-line friends – Well, you get the idea. My life is full of love because I went after it.

But what is it? You have probably heard that it’s chemistry. To start with, it is. The chemicals involved cause pupils to dilate, nostrils to flare, and your hair to suddenly need playing with. Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University wrote a book on the subject and links it to reproduction early in our evolution as a species. https://www.chemistry.com/datingadvice/LoveExplained

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Writers hoard links to various pages that give clues into the 12 stages of intimacy, how to describe someone in love, how to create sexual tension. Because when you are writing your 70th couple falling in love, you might need a little push or help. Dr. Fisher explains that lust will dissipate after having sex and isn’t very possessive. Whereas being in love includes being possessive.

M.Farouk Radwan, MSc, writes that we all have a check list in our heads of the criteria someone must meet to strike our interest. For me, I wanted someone tall, someone funny, someone who would love me more than I love myself. I also wanted someone who would dance and who would be comfortable in crowds. Well, those turned out to be less important in the long run. http://www.2knowmyself.com/relationship_breakups/why_do_we_fall_in_love

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Here’s a list of ten things that have to click to make love happen. http://www.businessinsider.com/why-do-people-fall-in-love-2015-5 Need to explain why your MCs found each other attractive and then took the plunge? That will be your guide.

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What we’re looking at above is mostly attraction and the early stages of love. People could tell I had fallen in love just by looking at me. The goofy grin probably gave it away. Spending twenty-one years together has given a soft patina to our relationship, strengthening many areas and opening new paths of discovery. We go from completing each other’s sentences to not being able to understand what’s being discussed. The latter had to do with the size of the new bird cages going outside soon. Hubby is much better with spatial details than I am and he chose to bring the subject up when we were driving, I was tired and hungry, and there were no props with which to explain things. Did I stop loving him because of that? Of course not. We’ve made it through worse.

070716 outside late

I hope there’s a market for love stories about mature couples and even mature singles falling in love. There’s so much to be explored in that area and so many readers who are hoping for stories about people like themselves. In the meantime, I will keep writing about couples of many types with many reasons for making love happen. Thanks for reading, I’ll be back on Sunday.


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