Clean Eating, Dirty Fiction

On the last Sunday of every month, I like to share part of what I have learned in my weight loss journey. To be a better writer, I need to get exercise, plenty of sleep, have good posture, and eat clean food. To me, that means eliminating foods Grandma would not recognize as food. Like Flaming Hot Cheetos ™ or bacon-wrapped Lil’ Smokies ™ Grandma might have enjoyed the bacon wrapped stuff after we explained it to her, but it’s the need to say “This is edible” that is the problem.

073116 you will care later

No preservatives, no processed food, no artificial anything. If you can’t have it growing in your backyard, find a farmer’s market. Local, fresh, and good for you. That’s a plan. Farm to fork with no stop at the processing plant to cook it down, add anything, or shape it to look like whatever is trendy this week.

Let us imagine that your heroine (we’ll call her Jen) is serving tofu spaghetti squash with a naked salad to her friend (we’ll call him Chris because Pine, Pratt, Hemsworth, Evans, etc.) with whom she would like to be better friends.

073116 control plate is hard

Jen set the bowl of spaghetti squash “noodles” on the table. She had gone all out with the good china, real silver flatware, crystal goblets, the works. Candles flickered in the AC breeze and soft music wafted from the stereo. But this tall, blond, god-like gym rat made her want to show off her best. Bending over so the peasant top she wore displayed her abundant charms, she asked, “Do you like what you see?”

Chris poked the bowl contents with a fingertip. “I’m not sure what I’m seeing, to tell you the truth. I love pasta, but this looks odd.”


“It’s not pasta, not really, but it’s very healthy.” She pulled the wine bottle out of the ice bucket and removed the foil. “I grew the squash in the community garden. I haven’t mastered tofu yet, but I grew the tomatoes that went into the sauce.”

He took the bottle away from her and gently eased the cork out. His frown grew deeper. “Tofu? I don’t think I’ve ever had tofu. Isn’t it slimy?”

“No, it’s not, if it’s prepared correctly.” Jen’s temper pulled away from her, ready to snap back and hurt someone. “Next, you’ll tell me you don’t like Mochi ice cream.”


“Uh.” Chris poured a glass of wine for each of them and set the bottle down carefully and out of Jen’s reach. “You know, I really appreciate that you worked so hard on this meal and that you want to do something nice for me. I do. I like your place, I like your company, I love your hair and your outfit.” He moved around the table and put his hands on her waist. “What say we skip the meal for now and go have sex?”

She laughed. Who knew it would be so easy. Playfully, she pulled down the sleeve of her top, revealing one shoulder. “Why, sir, what makes you think I am that kind of woman?”

Obligingly, he kissed her shoulder, then bit down, not too gently. Jen shivered and pushed against him. “Upstairs. Hurry!”

He hoisted her over his back, picked up the wine bottle and one glass, and ran up the stairs, nuzzling her midriff as he went. Jen squealed and wiggled, but her brain was slightly distracted trying to come up with healthy food that her man would like. When she landed on the bed and her clothes disappeared, she decided she’d Google it later.

073116 clean bread with avocado

There’s one way to get healthy food into your writing routine. Meanwhile, look over this blog which agrees with me that you can’t follow the plan 100% of the time. Embrace indulgence and settle for 80% clean and healthy. You can do it.

073116 not a dog073116 crappy food

By the way, I’ve lost almost 70 pounds on Medifast which I order through Take Shape For Life. Thanks to doctors and nutritionists bugging them for years, the TSFL company will now be called Optavia and will feature more products that meet the idea of clean eating. Amazing for a prepackaged diet food.

Thanks for reading, I’ll be back on Thursday.

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