Advice for Heroes

Yes, it’s time to give the men some input. Just imagine if we let them go through their whole story without some guidance! There could be mass hysteria, but probably just mass sports programs, beer bottles, and pizza cartons. Someone has to clean up the mess, right?


1. Do not have unprotected sex! Just don’t. You lose so much hero cred by doing that. Sure, she’s on the pill. Just like guys say they have had vasectomies, she might have forgotten to get the prescription renewed. And condoms are about more than birth control. Hopefully, the heroine is not skanky but she might not know that the guy she hooked up with last weekend had some awful disease. Safe Sex is about being smart. (Personally, I look for and love the mention of condoms in my contemporary romances these days)



2. Talk to her. Tell her your feelings, your fears, your uncertainties about the whole situation. Tell her if you voted for you know who. Make sure she knows you are allergic to shellfish and hate the idea of watching a ballet. That way when you get her tickets for Swan Lake she’ll know what a sacrifice it is and fall more madly in love with you. (Regency heroes, find out what she is most inspired by. Then make it possible for her to pursue that interest)


3. Don’t assume she knows nothing about sports based solely on her gender. Women like football, hockey, swimming, lots of sports. Especially the ones that involve tight pants or little or no clothing. Sure, you would get flamed if you admitted why you watch women’s volleyball. Suck it up, Buttercup. Payback is certainly a female dog.

4. Are you a shape-shifter? A mage or warlock? A dragon-like alien with evil intent until you meet her? Tell her right away! I know, this should be covered up in point 2, but I thought it needed a little extra coverage. Vampires, especially, need to be up-front about the whole allergy to sunlight, drinking blood to stay alive, and living for centuries. Do not turn her unless she agrees to the whole package. Even if she has been shot by a near-sighted deer hunter.

5. Alpha male? Prove it. You can’t claim to be alpha if you haven’t been a leader, a mover and shaker, a force to be reckoned with. You know how to deal with people of many different types. Now learn how to deal with her. Or him. Cause it’s all good. Accept that you will be asked to lead and to solve the really tough problems. How to change a diaper might be one of them.


Thanks for reading this, I had a lot of fun thinking of heroes and what they need to know. Tell me what I missed in the comments! I’ll be back on Thursday.

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