Deep Point of View and How to Write It

The score sheets from the contest I entered have been amazingly helpful as I edit my story. I am willing to try all their suggestions if it will make the story better. One of them suggested that I learn Deep Point of View and write that way. I’m slowly evolving in that direction on my own and run into certain problems with my critiquers.

051720 deep blue

For instance, I use as few dialog tags as possible, but then people tell me I have to have one here or it’s too confusing there. I use my characters thoughts as exposition but then my critiquers want it italicized to show it’s someone’s thoughts. So obviously I ain’t doing it right yet.

Kristen Kieffer writes that Deep POV eliminates distance between the character and the reader. We stay in one head, the writer doesn’t narrate (GUILTY!) and there is a little author interference as possible. I need to write with a subjective nature, distinct character voice, and as little notes of authorship as possible. No dialog tags, no filter words, and nothing our of the character’s voice.

051720 convo

Thankfully, Ms. Kieffer is a Romance writer and understands that the book will be in one character’s POV at a time. I start out with my heroine and switch to the hero soon enough. And key to writing in this fashion is knowing the character upside down, sideways, and 360°. That’s why I started a few weeks ago with character sheets. Building my mental and imaginary friends from the ground up will give me the tools to create their voices, their attitudes, and their actions.

051720 upset dude

So let’s see if I can convert a paragraph from Crazy for Trying into Deep POV. The untouched paragraph is first.

Somehow, Adam managed to sleep, but woke in the gray predawn light. The damp chill seeped into his clothes and he ached from lying on the hard surface. Taking a few minutes to work out the kinks, he checked his surroundings. The house stayed dark, the neighbors houses as well. Behind the houses lay a green belt with dim lights and a path. He looked again to assure himself that the curtain was drawn across the glass door, then he eased down out of the tree house. He went to the back fence and climbed over to the grassy stretch and walked down the path.

051720 tree house

And now, Deep.

Adam slept, waking in the gray predawn light. His clothes damp, the aches in his bones kept him awake. He worked out the kinks, then checked his surroundings. The house stayed dark, the neighbors houses as well. Behind the housing development lay a green belt with dim lights and a path. The curtain remained drawn across the glass door. Adam eased down out of the tree house. The back fence climb hurt more this time, but he went over to the grassy stretch and walked down the path.

051720 ocean floor

There’s more that I can do with this, but it feels like a good start. And there are lots of how to articles out there. I like this one because it’s simple and easy to understand. Always a plus with a poor student like myself. Thanks for reading, I’ll be back on Thursday.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s